kinks checklist yesnomaybe list for couples

#Kinks checklist yesnomaybe list for couples how to#

'Everybody's different, but most people would be really excited if you were to say you’d gotten a hotel room for the night,' Rodriguez says.Whether you’re a tried and true vanilla couple who is looking to dip your toe into the deeper end of the pool, or an adventurous spirit looking to try white water river rafting, a YNM list can be a great way to get started! In this article, I’ll walk you through the process of using a YNM list to help you and your partner start talking about branching out.īefore you read this article though, if you haven’t read part one, Creating a Roadmap for Sexual Adventure #1: Why is it So F#%!ing Hard to Talk About Trying New Things? and find the idea of talking about your interests and fantasies daunting, I recommend checking it out, or connecting with one of our sex therapists at The Center to help you navigate that process. And that can add an extra thrill to the night. Not only would you be breaking your bedroom routine, but you'd be breaking your entire daily routine. Rodriguez also suggests being spontaneous, booking a hotel for the night, and meeting your partner with some sex toys to try out. “Pretending to be somebody else for a night I think can be really fun,' Rodriguez says, 'in a world in which we know everything about our partner.' It's more meeting your partner at a bar, and playing the role of the strangers who hits it off and goes home with them for a one-night-stand. This doesn't necessarily mean sex on the beach, at the movies, or in a Target dressing room - although having sex in public is definitely kinky. One way of doing this is playing kinky games out in public. 'How do you add an element of intrigue and mystery back into your relationship, while also being practical?' Which I think is often something people are attracted to and drawn to,' Rodriguez explains. 'As humans, when we live with another person, our familiarity with them - and the mystery and the intrigue - just kind of goes away. You can also find kink workshops on EventBrite. Looking on BDSM and kink networking site FetLife is worth a shot, Woods says.

#Kinks checklist yesnomaybe list for couples how to#

With breath play, again Woods emphasizes reading up on how to choke your partner safely, since it can be dangerous if not done correctly.ĭepending on how active that local sex store of yours is, they might have kink classes you can sign up for. A few solid beginner kinks Woods recommends exploring are light bondage, playing with dominant and submissive roles, breath play (safely choking), and having sex in interesting places. When addressing the challenge of breaking out of a sex routine, Rodriguez says, 'It’s combining the practical and logistical information with thinking about what’s new and different that you can try - that isn’t going to be so overwhelming and cumbersome that it makes you not want to have sex at all.'īased on how you and your partner fill out your yes-no-maybe list, you should have an idea where you guys are on the same page. It's important to pick a handful of kinks first, instead of trying to cross everything off your lists ASAP. Here are some sizzling tips for when you feel like your sex life has cooled down.

'It’s hard to constantly expand your horizon and your experiences, because by nature, we’re not wired to do that.'īe that as it may, your sex-scapades aren't doomed if you and your partner have fallen into a routine. We’re also very busy people in an age where technology always leaves us feeling like there’s something we could be doing,' Rodriguez says.

'Generally speaking, we’re creatures of habit. Rodriguez says routine sex is the end result of human nature, our jam-packed schedules, and good ol'-fashioned stress.

When we're coming back from a long day at work (or endless stream of classes and meetings), we might not want to expend extra energy if we know this particular angle is orgasm-guaranteed. Mostly, it's just easier to stick with what you both know if you're both consistently horny and tired. The reasons we fall into sex routines vary, according to Polly Rodriguez, CEO of sex toy company Unbound. An extra dash of spice never hurt anyone when it comes to our sex lives. Or, lead with some dirty talk about your sexual fantasies. A good start can be switching up sex positions. But if sex feels as predictable as Olivia and Fitz's story arcs on Scandal, you might want to look into just how to have kinky sex when you and your partner are in a rut. Your partner may get the job done efficiently every time and that's great.

If you're not a dancer, gymnast, or pilot, being stuck in any routine can be rough - especially in the bedroom.